Death by recycling

I try to avoid going to the local landfill site if at all possible because it usually ends up as some sort of examination which I inevitably fail as council workers rap me over the knuckles for putting the wrong sort of cardboard in the cardboard bin, or putting a broken up flat pack into the wood bin. I'm not quite sure whether it's the laminate that whips them into a frenzy, or the bits of plastic and screws attached to the fragmenting chipboard...sadly, there's no one to provide feedback on performance as you're leaving, but I digress... Anyway, I had to make the effort yesterday, only because I was tired of stubbing my toe on the old computer chair that was in front of my bookshelves. As I was going to the landfill anyway, I thought I may as well take the old newspapers up to the recycling bin too. I have to salve my conscience for being a petrolhead, after all...

When we got there, a woman was already parked in front of the paper recycling bins so we pulled around in front of her to use the bins a little further up. Of course, it started to rain, as it always does when you don't have an umbrella. Bugger, I thought, so I pulled up the hood on my sweatshirt as I struggled to push the newspapers into the bin before the rather aggressive shutter attempted to recycle my fingers, too. The other lady, in the meantime, had finished and was on her way back to the car. As she got back inside, I heard the distinct sound of her engaging the locks. I couldn't quite believe it, so I just glanced across to see her doing her best to avoid my eyes as she drove away...quickly.

Now maybe I did look slightly on the shady side dressed in a hoody top, old jeans and trainers, but I wouldn't have thought that I was sending out any overtly threatening vibes by recycling newspapers. I mean, I wasn't waving around a flick knife, doing wheelies on a bike several sizes too small for me or smoking on street corners. Clearly, though, I'd terrified this woman with my environmental conscience, leaving her in fear for her life as she beat a hasty retreat through the gates.

Maybe I'll just wear the hoody top, whether or not it's raining, next time. Hopefully it'll keep the council workers away too so that I can bin my old computer chair in...erm...general waste?

Nope.

Bugger. Wood?

Nope.

Damn. Think I'm going to be here a while...